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Am I Supposed to Be My Kid’s Friend?


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We've abandoned the distinction between adult and child—and our kids are paying for it

"Parents often ask me for advice in managing their children’s use of technology, usually the amount of time the child uses it, or the kind of tech the child is using.

I suggest they set limits and guidelines for incorporating those limits. The parent then says something like, “But if I do what you’re suggesting, I’m going to be yelled at or hated by my kid; it’s going to cause a huge problem.”

I usually smile and say yes."


"Allowing children to make their own rules around technology is like handing an opioid addict a bottle of oxycontin and asking him to write his own prescription, need or not. Young children and teenagers should not get an equal vote in matters that relate to their technology use, nor in many other matters.

Your role is to be the grown-up in the parent–child relationship, to be loving in your willingness to do what’s best for your kids. Your role is not to be your child’s friend."

Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, author, public speaker, and workshop leader. For more information, visit NancyColier.com.

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11 hours ago, Swampfox762 said:

I've been Truly fortunate with my daughter.  She's turned into a most incredible, smart, tough self assured woman.  Don't know where in the hell she got the truck drivers mouth though.:anim_lol:

My daughter is the same. She has the mouth of a Sailor and it’s my fault. She also speaks her mind. That’s my fault also. When she combines the two it gets interesting. 

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