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Getting a new dog.


Silentpoet
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Our dog is Sky.  Or Skyy.  Or Skie.  Or,  I don't know.  It's my wife's dog.  100%.

She only comes into my office when my wife isn't home.  So I can trip over her.

If my wife starts cooking something,  the dog comes downstairs.  Because she knows there's food afoot,  and a 100% chance of getting none in the kitchen.

She knows who, randomly,  flicks pieces at her, on the floor.  And where she gets to lick the plate.

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We had a pitbull named Sensei.  (somewhere around The Karate Kid era)  It was a great name (imo).

She was great,  even with toddlers all around,  but she had no personality.  Never played.  was never cuddly.  Just a dog.  Always seemed to just be standing watch.

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Sensei lived to only, like, 3 years old.

She came into the house one day,  and her head was as big as a horse.  I immediately thought "snake bit".  Took her to the vet, he said "snake bit,"  she got a shot, and she was good for several months.

Then her head swelled up again.  Like a Bison-head.

I was going to take her to the vet tomorrow morning,  but her head blew up into a tar-goo.  

then the vet said she had head-cancer, but it didn't matter much.

So,  she's buried in someone's backyard in Texas.

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I visited many years ago.

My mobile home is gone (see the *),  my fence,  that took a month, is gone.  That old crappy tree,  that I filled with cement,  is still there.  My garage is gone.

Now it's for someone to just park their construction equipment on.

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*

We moved from our 1/2 acre mobile home.  And bolted.  Left it up to the realtor.

I came back two months later.  The mobile was worth dirt,  the 1/2 acre was worth a bit.

But they burned up the pole.

Our ******* neighbors,  they had a pet pig,  I know it was them.

Someone tried to tap into our electricity,  and burned the meter and pole up.

So the realtor had sold it all,  but we had to pay more.

I know it was exactly them,  they were friendly people,  with their mother-mud-******* pig.

Burn my pole up.

They're lucky I didn't come back.

Edited by Huaco Kid
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14 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said:

It used to be "our" backyard.

Now it's someone's 40-acre backyard.

They'll hit her with a roto-tiller,  sooner or later.

BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHUUUUUUUUUMMMWHIRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR>>....... ching!

"What's that?"

"Looks like a collar?"

When I was a kid our neighbors were an older couple, no kids at home. They had two huge marine iguanas. The iguanas died before they moved and were buried in the yard very shallow with paving stones placed over the top to make a patio. 
 

The next owner freaked when they dug up the patio. They thought they found dinosaurs. One day they had a paleontologist from the University of Utah looking at what they found. My mom went out and said “Oh, you found Fritz and Frida”. 

Edited by Batesmotel
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And Dad had Army knives. 

"Why does my idiot son have a godzilla loose in my house?  Is it in my closet right now?"

So,  if you were looking for the mother-lovin dog,  you can't find him.

But he's been frozen,  6" from your face,  on the bathroom mirror the whole time.  Sticking there.  Upside down.

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If you should decide to stab him with the electric toothbrush,  or comb,  then he's going all berserk on you.

I didn't care, if there was a 6' lizzard,  just going, "duh", somewhere in the bathroom,  but Dad had razor blades.

Mom liked him.  She'd spritz him with perfume.

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5 hours ago, Huaco Kid said:

We had a pitbull named Sensei.  (somewhere around The Karate Kid era)  It was a great name (imo).

She was great,  even with toddlers all around,  but she had no personality.  Never played.  was never cuddly.  Just a dog.  Always seemed to just be standing watch.

Had a Pitt growing up. Called her Elvira. The song was popular at the time. Red from the tip of her nose to the tip of her tail. Very attentive to little ones, and a great babysitter. Much more tolerant to them than anyone. She was distant to almost everyone else. I was close to her, but the closest  to affection was lying at my feet. Very obedient, and quiet, and never offered to bite anything but a biscuit. UNTIL,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,some jackwagon reached in the door after my grandmother. She promptly dragged him to the back yard and started having her way with him. Daddy called her off, but she wasn't happy and just stared and dared him to make a move.

She was friendly with the police officer for a minute or two, and kinda got annoyed he took her new chew toy away, but seemed to be rather content with herself over the whole episode.

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