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Dad Jokes


Maser
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This thread is a silly distraction when there are important things going on in the world.  We all need to grow up.

 

For example, in Detroit today, some hoods broke into the police station and stole all the toilets.

Detectives are investigating, but right now............. they have nothing to go on.

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6 minutes ago, Historian said:

Q.  Did you know a crocodile can live for more than 100 years?

A: That's why they can see you after a while.

Do you know if the amphibian you’ve just seen is an alligator or a crocodile? 
if it sees you later or in a while. :whistling:

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A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.."

 

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Today the inventor of the throat lozenge passed away. There will be no coffin at his funeral!


My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

A baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What'll it be kid?"
Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."


Why shouldn't you bet on Germany in the Olympics? They have a poor track record for finishing a race.

Did you hear of the fire at the clock factory ? they all died from second hand smoke.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.


That story reminds me of my priest. It really touched me.

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