gwalchmai Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Seems like I've found myself in the old house cleaning bidness. In October of '19 my wife's aunt died, and my wife was her executrix, so we had to clean out and sell her house. Then my mom passed and my step-dad moved into assisted living so we had to clean out and sell their house. Last week my wife's uncle died and she's his heir. Today we went to his house to get it ready to sell. He's been in assisted living for a year and hadn't cleaned his house for at least a year before he moved. He was a bit of a hoarder and it looks like there's three or four truckloads of newspapers to throw out before we even get to the clothes and VHS tapes and clothing and stuff. My MIL spent over an hour working on the fridge and sinks today. It's grim, and grimy. I really don't mind because these folks were all good to us growing up but it sure makes me appreciate the need to get rid of unnecessary stuff and to make arrangements for when we pass. 6 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GT4494 Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 And I hope everyone now understands that after doing that for both sets of parents, I am trying to streamline what the kids will have to go through after I pass...... 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampfox762 Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 25 minutes ago, gwalchmai said: Seems like I've found myself in the old house cleaning bidness. In October of '19 my wife's aunt died, and my wife was her executrix, so we had to clean out and sell her house. Then my mom passed and my step-dad moved into assisted living so we had to clean out and sell their house. Last week my wife's uncle died and she's his heir. Today we went to his house to get it ready to sell. He's been in assisted living for a year and hadn't cleaned his house for at least a year before he moved. He was a bit of a hoarder and it looks like there's three or four truckloads of newspapers to throw out before we even get to the clothes and VHS tapes and clothing and stuff. My MIL spent over an hour working on the fridge and sinks today. It's grim, and grimy. I really don't mind because these folks were all good to us growing up but it sure makes me appreciate the need to get rid of unnecessary stuff and to make arrangements for when we pass. Yup. Did it for both sets of parents. Mine and the wife's. It's a very grim task, especially after one passes, let alone both. I'm in the process of getting ready to do one more..the last. My Moms sister, my 89 year old aunt. Ya never get use to it...it's just over whelming at times. Me and my Lady have made sure our daughter won't have any near what we had to go thru. You're a good man gwalc... 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheygriz Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 It sure as hell aint no fun, Bubba! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peng Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Spend some time searching for hidden money, it is amazing how many people do this as they get older. We found a few hundred from my Dad and probably left thousands behind. He put it in that "special" place and then forgot about it. Taped behind pictures, sewn into things, in mattresses, in books, taped under drawers and behind dressers, in cans in the pantry, probably many other good spots. Might also be worth checking missingmoney.com I found thousands from Mom just sitting there. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crockett Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 Yall asking for a obituary sub forum next? Maybe you can get your thread going BEFORE you check out?! Spring is around the corner! Get out of your emotional panties, gentlemen! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Cicero Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 My parents have spent several years getting rid of stuff. They've actually got the house down to a fair minimum, I think. (Mostly empty basement, workshop, office... it's only the bedroom closets that are still full of stuff and clothes no one will wear again). I think when my mom had to clean out her mom's house, and then my dad's dad's house, that motivated them not to leave that crap around for my brother and I to deal with. Which is probably good, since we suspect my mom is in the beginning stages of dementia, and my relationship with both of them is rocky thanks to their TDS. My oldest daughter says we have too much junk, and I have had it up to here with the clutter, so we've been working on getting rid of stuff here, too. I'd prefer not to saddle either of my kids with anything worse than selling my sewing machines. Cause I'm not giving those up! 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crockett Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 Don't collect crap to begin with. There is nothing in my house that is not worth a decent amount on the used market. Also, who cares what you leave behind, it's YOUR life. If people don't want to deal with it, they don't have to. The city / county will eventually clean it all up if nobody pays the damn property taxes. We only get 2 things of true value in our life: - time - health Don't throw either away by living in the past, or in the future, let alone preparing for the time when you are dead. It makes zero sense. Write your last will, takes 10 minutes. Done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampfox762 Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 1 hour ago, Mrs.Cicero said: My parents have spent several years getting rid of stuff. They've actually got the house down to a fair minimum, I think. God Bless em.They're thinkin of you. Not to be determental at all, but my folks, my wifes folks...there was just no even...Thought of any kind of "planning". Well, I can't say that, My parents and my wife's, did at least have a will. "Cleanup"...was still Brutal. That's what I'm talkin about... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 Spend some time searching for hidden money, it is amazing how many people do this as they get older. We found a few hundred from my Dad and probably left thousands behind. He put it in that "special" place and then forgot about it. Taped behind pictures, sewn into things, in mattresses, in books, taped under drawers and behind dressers, in cans in the pantry, probably many other good spots. Might also be worth checking missingmoney.com I found thousands from Mom just sitting there.I check the state site for forgotten money periodically. Most recently two digits, but several times three digits. Most states have a site you can access directly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 I need to reduce my accumulations. Not so much for my heirs, but so it will be easier to enjoy what I keep. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holyjohnson Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 (edited) that`s nice, they had enough Respect for your Wife to give her that Responsibility. a whole Generation of People who lived through a Depression and who held things so tightly because they knew what it was like to Struggle is Passing and dont let just anyone go through what was theirs. that is unless its a very Elaborate long term practical joke on you all, which would be really good. Edited February 17, 2021 by holyjohnson 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crockett Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 Here's a story of a different kind. BEFORE my mom's parents died, all siblings started fighting over details, how much everybody should get, and how they would alter the last will accordingly. I was still a young teen back then. They destroyed the good memories I had with my grandparents. A couple decades later my dad started pressuring me with his last will and expectations he had for me. This was the topic for well over 10 years, recurring every week or so, one way or another. At some point I was so done with all that **** that I told him that I will not inherit ANYTHING from my parents and that they better spend it all or the state will have a year long partying going. I rather have my freedom and peace, than getting a million, or wherever their properties may be worth now. This wasn't the only issue, but everything was about negativity and the end of the days. I cut all ties some 5 years ago. The time to deal with death is when somebody died. Past tense. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted February 17, 2021 Author Share Posted February 17, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, crockett said: Here's a story of a different kind. BEFORE my mom's parents died, all siblings started fighting over details, how much everybody should get, and how they would alter the last will accordingly. I was still a young teen back then. They destroyed the good memories I had with my grandparents. A couple decades later my dad started pressuring me with his last will and expectations he had for me. This was the topic for well over 10 years, recurring every week or so, one way or another. At some point I was so done with all that **** that I told him that I will not inherit ANYTHING from my parents and that they better spend it all or the state will have a year long partying going. I rather have my freedom and peace, than getting a million, or wherever their properties may be worth now. This wasn't the only issue, but everything was about negativity and the end of the days. I cut all ties some 5 years ago. The time to deal with death is when somebody died. Past tense. That's a bummer, amigo. All our estate dealings have been amiable, mostly, but it's bad when relatives fight over the remains. One innerstin' story - my great-grandma passed in 1943, and my dad, grandma, great-aunt, and great-uncle gathered to read the will. Understand that they were all Depression-era kids and the old lady had only her accumulated furniture. At the end of the day my grandma got a wall clock, various knick-knacks, and a big sectional oak dining room table my great-grandma had used in her rooming house. Everyone seemed satisfied. Time passed until 1985, and my grandma died. My great-aunt and her husband had prospered in the Alabama junk business. She drove Cadillacs exclusively throughout the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Imagine our surprise when she and her son drove up in a pickup truck to the funeral. I said "Dad, what the heck is she doing in that truck?" He said "She wants my table." Dad had refinished the oak table, removing a half-inch of old varnish and paint, and restoring it, and had it in his dining room. So my aunt goes up to my dad at his mom's funeral and says "Pete, that was my momma's table and I want it. Are you going to give it to me?" This overbearing woman had bullied her siblings and my dad all their lives and figured to do the same now. Dad, to his credit, explained to her that he had a nice fireplace, and that the table would be used there before it went back with her. I've never seen a person turn as red as my aunt did that day. That table resides in my breakfast nook today. Edited February 17, 2021 by gwalchmai 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tadbart Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 Family turns into vultures when death approaches. It's disgusting. I don't have any kids, and quite honestly, I don't give a damn if Uncle Sugar is my sole heir. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted February 17, 2021 Author Share Posted February 17, 2021 1 hour ago, tadbart said: Family turns into vultures when death approaches. It's disgusting. I don't have any kids, and quite honestly, I don't give a damn if Uncle Sugar is my sole heir. Seriously, the table thing has been my only negative experience, and it was more tragicomic than really bad. Of course, I've been blessed in my choices of family, friends, and internet forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 It has been truly said “You can’t take it with you.” Some have suggested you can send it ahead... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batesmotel Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 When my mom died my sister broke in and stole a bunch of high end furniture. She wasn’t supposed to touch anything until after the estate was settled. I was going to give it all to her anyway. Just showed her true character. After that my druggy brother in law (wife’s brother) and his friends broke into the house and garage and looted everything. Best thing that could have happened. I had already removed all family and business documents. I filed a police report and had everything valued. I took the value off of any estate taxes. Worked out great. And my criminal bro in law hasn’t been able to give me **** about anything ever since. He makes everyone’s life hell except mine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crockett Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 I think I will make a list of my stuff that needs to go with me, 6 feet under! My Dillon 1050 is a good starter if things get boring. A couple of watches as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VinD Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 It is really refreshing to hear some families are civil when it comes to this subject, unfortunately not mine! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted February 17, 2021 Author Share Posted February 17, 2021 2 hours ago, crockett said: I think I will make a list of my stuff that needs to go with me, 6 feet under! My Dillon 1050 is a good starter if things get boring. A couple of watches as well! Can I have a few of your Vettes? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willie-pete Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 14 hours ago, VinD said: It is really refreshing to hear some families are civil when it comes to this subject, unfortunately not mine! My wife's family was very civil. Three siblings; my wife and two brothers. Their parents owned two farms in Ohio. One day a month after my FIL passed ( he was a few months shy of seeing 100 ), my MIL had passed a few years earlier, I was at home when the Post Mistress showed up with a Certified Letter from the County Clerk in her father's county. I signed for it assuming it was something from the estate and told my wife about it when she got home. She went inside and a few minutes later I heard her screech WE'VE BEEN SUED. Three kids don't divide into two farms evenly. Her two brothers had sued her to get her kicked out of the estate the estate. They each wanted a farm to leave to their kids and since we didn't have any kids, they didn't see any need for us to share one third of the estate. Luckily we had the better attorney and she came out of it pretty well. The judge basically told the opposing attorney he was an idiot and ordered them to reach an agreement. It also helped that his niece was a law clerk for my wife's attorney. Each brother got a hundred year old farmhouse and a few acres of farmland. My wife got the majority of the tillable acres and they were sold within the week of the settlement for the highest price ever paid for land in Frankfort County Ohio up until that time. Let me know if you need the name of a good inheritance attorney in Chillicothe, OH. BTW, she hasn't spoken to either of them since the court case. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostinTexas Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 After a NDE, we have taken steps. Funeral arrangements are done and paid for, passwords, a thumb drive with everything we can think of and instructions on accessing it is in the bank box, along with where the keys are have been relayed to Da Boy. The house is already taken care of, show up to the county clerks office with death certificates and a transfer fee, and the house is his, bank account access on our demise, and most everything we can think of are already done. LostWife has started thinning the heard on "stuff", and I'm at least as bad in many ways, but we have a room full of stuff going to a garage sale this spring boxed and marked. so it's a start. My folks? Gonna be an unhinged mess. Mom doesn't even know what, where, and how to get access to dads accounts, and he ain't saying. He thinks everything will be "alright", and no since in arranging. It's going to be a mess. The house is going to be a nightmare cleaning out. it's packed to the bursting point with things that are important to them. Lost-In-Laws? well, we have them going in the right direction, but it's still going to be a mess cleaning and selling. Good luck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostinTexas Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 1 hour ago, willie-pete said: BTW, she hasn't spoken to either of them since the court case. Unfortunately these things bring out the worst in people. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batesmotel Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 26 minutes ago, LostinTexas said: He thinks everything will be "alright" I’ve been called to list houses for sale in situations like this. None of the survivors knew about anything. No banking info. Credit or debts. Not even who was actually on title for the house. No idea where car titles were. Hidden cash. Safety deposit boxes. Stashed jewelry or family heirlooms. Insurance. Nothing. Because dad thought if he did nothing, he couldn’t die. It will just be alright or somehow just work out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now