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Just Got This News Flash From Borneo....


DrB
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TARAKAN, Borneo -- A tribe of jungle dwelling natives is making a
fortune from their cannibal past by using ancient recipes to make a
delicious human jerky that sells like hot cakes.  The Sambi tribe, once
known for their ferocity and appetite for human flesh, are now mass
producing the chewy, spicy tidbits and selling them at 95$ for 1.8 of an
ounce or $110 a pound.  Since the jerky (called 'Flesh Jerky') was
introduced as a novelty food in 1994 its distribution has spread from Asia
to markets in Europe and South America.  "They purchase the bodies of auto
wreck victims and process them in a hygienic environment," said Daya
Sularata, a Borneo government official assigned to help the Sambi in their
business.  "The meat is inspected by government inspectors so it's
guaranteed free of AIDS and other diseases.  The Sambis strip it, cook it
and sun dry it according to a centuries old cannibal recipe.  The spices
are a mystery and the eight day long special curing process is secret as
well."  
    The bizarre flesh food was the result of a government employment
program designed to tame the fierce Sambi.  Authorities wanted the clan of
2,535 cannibals to start up a small commercial enterprise and concentrate
on making money instead of making war.  The natives, great fans of modern
junk foods like potato chips, instantly came up with the human jerky idea.
 Not wanting to disappoint the Sambis, authorities went along with it.  
"We've been amazed by their success," Sularata said.  "Now we're getting
inquires from America."  If Jeffery Dahmer could have only waited a little.


Yes, I have a twisted sense of humor sometimes...Dave....

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42 minutes ago, Al Czervik said:

Hope this is from the "Onion."

I don't know.  Looking through some of my old files, this popped up.  Dates back to the old newsgroup days.  Just thought i would post it up for a laugh..  Dave.

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22 minutes ago, Historian said:

Or at least...is served with onions.

?

Yes..You get the humor...  People I read "The National Lampoon Magazine " back in the day  in college and "Mad Magazine" while growing up. I have a very refined sense of humor from my cultured upbringing.  And yes that is satire....Sometimes..... but you never know with me...  Dave...  

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27 minutes ago, DrB said:

Yes..You get the humor...  People I read "The National Lampoon Magazine " back in the day  in college and "Mad Magazine" while growing up. I have a very refined sense of humor from my cultured upbringing.  And yes that is satire....Sometimes..... but you never know with me...  Dave...  

Buy this magazine or the dog dies.

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32 minutes ago, Historian said:

Buy this magazine or the dog dies.

Hahaa.  I did spit a little of my evening beer out on the keyboard when i saw.  Thanks.....A lot of folks would go over their heads....  Dave...

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