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How not to cook rice


Fnfalman
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yeah, one of my cousins posted this on facebook.

 

I don't necessarily agree with using your finger to measure the water level, but I can't see anything that the woman actually did correct.

As usual, BBC is completely clueless as to how things actually work.

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My Shotokan instructor taught me how to cook rice.  He's Filipino, taught me to wash the rice in the cooker basket, until water is mostly clear, water level at the second finger first knuckle.  

Still use the Zoruji cooker I bought in the mid-80's.  Mechanical timing.  Load the cooker.  Press go.   Don't fool with it.  Come back in 25 minutes.  

 

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39 minutes ago, Rellik said:

My Shotokan instructor taught me how to cook rice.  He's Filipino, taught me to wash the rice in the cooker basket, until water is mostly clear, water level at the second finger first knuckle.  

Still use the Zoruji cooker I bought in the mid-80's.  Mechanical timing.  Load the cooker.  Press go.   Don't fool with it.  Come back in 25 minutes.  

 

simple is best for cooking. 

For those that don't know how most rice cookers work, it's just a little temp switch (or mechanical bimetallic switch mechanism) to turn off heat once it starts getting over 220 degrees or so (water boils at 212, and will keep the metal bowl at about that temp until it all boils off, at which time the rice is done)

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Just had an idea for TV show: How not to cook.

 

I've tried and tried, many well meaning folks have given up trying to teach me. It's always the same, just get started, then they start with the foreign language! Saute, sear, soufflé, slice (NO, not like THAT!), sizzle, stew, strain.  2 or 3 words in as I'm trying desperately to find instructions for what they're saying dinner (or is that diner?) begins to do what it isnt supposed to, I'm arging with the instructor, smoke and or flames erupt from the strange named thing I'm cooking in, and I'm ejected from the kitchen.

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6 minutes ago, Cougar_ml said:

simple is best for cooking. 

For those that don't know how most rice cookers work, it's just a little temp switch (or mechanical bimetallic switch mechanism) to turn off heat once it starts getting over 220 degrees or so (water boils at 212, and will keep the metal bowl at about that temp until it all boils off, at which time the rice is done)

Numerous people have called me simple after seeing me pre-heat the microwave, or souffle the salad.

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46 minutes ago, Paul53 said:

Just had an idea for TV show: How not to cook.

 

I've tried and tried, many well meaning folks have given up trying to teach me. It's always the same, just get started, then they start with the foreign language! Saute, sear, soufflé, slice (NO, not like THAT!), sizzle, stew, strain.  2 or 3 words in as I'm trying desperately to find instructions for what they're saying dinner (or is that diner?) begins to do what it isnt supposed to, I'm arging with the instructor, smoke and or flames erupt from the strange named thing I'm cooking in, and I'm ejected from the kitchen.

Different people have different types of skills.  

I'm mechanically oriented, and capable of following directions pretty well.  

On the other hand, don't ask me to try understanding a foreign language or understanding art, as those are completely foreign concepts to me.

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One of the Hornblower tales involved rice. He was fresh on the frigate and was sent with a few crew members to take a prize (captured enemy cargo vessel) to a British port to be sold. The prize had been hit a time or two below the waterline, but the bilge was dry. Curious.

Soon enough rats started coming on deck an fleeing. Then the deck and hull boards started bulging. Soon enough the prize had disintegrated. The cargo was rice which had swelled up on the water leaking in. 

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2 hours ago, tadbart said:

Tear 2 inch vent in top of bag.

Microwave on high for 90 seconds.

Let sit for 1 minute.

Escaping steam may be hot.

 

I hope you don't eat rice much.  You are paying probably 4X for that lazy convenience and getting whatever chemical crap that bag contributes to the rice.

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There are two ways to make plain rice after washing. 

1.  Zojirushi Fuzzy Logic cooker (faster).

2.  Double lid donabe rice pot (nicer texture).

I generally make sushi rice.  I like the texture the donabe produces with the 20-20-20 method.  After washing, 20 minutes of soaking, 20 minutes of simmering, and a 20 minute rest.  

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5 hours ago, Cougar_ml said:

Different people have different types of skills.  

I'm mechanically oriented, and capable of following directions pretty well.  

On the other hand, don't ask me to try understanding a foreign language or understanding art, as those are completely foreign concepts to me.

I'm lucky. I can get by on my looks!

borg TWO 7.8.20.jpg

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1 hour ago, LostinTexas said:

I don't know about the finger thing, but I'm with the Asian guy on this one. That woman has to be the worst cook on Youtube.

 

1 hour ago, Al Czervik said:

It works to a certain extent.

So,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you're the worst cook off Youtube? ?

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I knew how to cook rice before I bought an Oyama rice cooker. What I didn't know until a Filipina pointed it out to me was clarifying rice. I'm not really sure if rinsing it really does any good but just about every Filipino household around has a rice cooker and clarifies the rice before cooking. The rice cooker is handy though as it is pretty damned hard to burn rice in a cooker.

The guy in the video does have a point about using a colander with rice. The woman in the video needs to attend drug and/or cooking rehab before fuc attempting to cook rice again. It really does seem like with Britain's history of colonialism in India, Malaysia, Hong Kong etc that they might have learned how to cook rice at some point.

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