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Fully loaded Mercedes...


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Many moons ago, gramps was driving a bull wagon to the stockyards.  I don't now remember all of the specifics, but a nicely dressed couple in a Jaguar convertible were inconvenienced by his lack of speed.  Eventually, they tried to get around him on the left and became boxed in at a traffic light.  IRRC, 3-4 animals all opened up at the same time and covered the two occupants and their fine automobile in varying degrees of viscosity of excretions.  

They followed him into the yard, yelling and screaming that he was going to pay....yadda yadda yadda.  He told them, "you stupid-assed town sumbitches parked under 53 assholes.  Maybe this was learning experience to think things through in the future."  As he backed into the unloading dock, a couple of the wranglers that knew my grandfather told the to greenish brown covered people, that was about the nicest he's ever been to anyone around here.  You should probably just go.  And, they did.

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Many years ago i was driving down a rural road in my state....leaving the formerly all girl's university that i had some how...had to go to...on my way back to God's country and the formerly all boy's university...in my state...

When i realized the mist from the cattle car in front of me was not the result of him hitting a puddle, even a lake, possibly a river...but that all the bovines were releasing their combined bladders...all over my beloved truck.

Yeah...some guys might pay for that...not me.

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