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About Me




Found 44 results

  1. So, I called the internet company after it being out 1/4th of the day to someone who has the brain cells of Keanu Reeves before the Matrix. He kept putting me on hold and asking the same damn questions that I answered already. He told me to send him an e-mail. I asked what orifice he would like it in, as an e-mail would require the internet. He gave me have you plugged in and out multiple times, and of course I had. Brain dead said he would have someone between 8-12. So, why not plug it in and plug it out. So, I did: My ass fixed the internet. You're welcome.
  2. This news may be difficult for some. These crimes occurred Monday in Phoenix, Arizona. https://www.azfamily.com/news/police-report-reveals-horrific-details-about-how-phoenix-mom-smothered/article_6f31c3e2-3cbd-11ea-8d81-db89f41bb97e.html If the law would allow it, I'd volunteer to execute her with a dull entrenching tool over a five minute period.
  3. I swear I can't get enough of this vid when I need a quick laugh!
  4. I’ve been watching the Try Channel on You Tube for 18 months or so. The videos are simply a panel of Irish people trying different products, foods & drinks, games, etc, mostly from the US. They have a stable of regulars that rotate through the videos. Most of them are real characters and they are entertaining. The videos interest me because I like seeing their perspective on things familiar to us here. I really enjoy most of their videos. The people, their slang and phrasing and their humor is entertaining to me. They tend to be liberal types and I usually avoid those videos, but for the most part, they steer clear of politics, at least since early in the series, when the channel was called the Facts channel. I’ll warn you, the language can be a little raw, but the videos are usually pretty good. Here they are trying Crispy Creme donuts, shortly after the first couple franchises opened in Ireland.
  5. NSFE because of the pics in the first link. Apparently Democratic Rep Katie Hill has been in a "Throuple" with her husband and a staffer. Beware of the pics in the article below: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7609835/Katie-Hill-seen-showing-Nazi-era-tattoo-smoking-BONG-NAKED.html Basically she's got the trifecta - weed, cheating, AND a Nazi tattoo. CNN has it too but much tamer: https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/23/politics/house-opens-investigation-into-katie-hill/index.html California, am I right?
  6. Circus bear attacks trainer at Russian event Trainer bearly got out of there with his life. He shoulda known this would come back to bite him. I love the assistant kicking the bear and then stepping WAY back, twice, Then starts messing with his phone (I assume to call Russian 911).
  7. Apparently there is a "haunted house" in Tennessee that will pay you $20K if you can make it through it. Big if. Because nobody ever has. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McKamey_Manor There are videos of what they do on Youtube. I was gonna embed them but to be honest I'm a bit scared to now. I watched one - holy fark! It's like watching every sick disgusting form of torture and fetish porn ever, but without the boobies. No thanks.
  8. .....and not in traffic. A Ukranian man caught a rapist attacking his wife so he cut the guy's penis off with a Swiss Army knife. https://www.foxnews.com/world/furious-husband-chops-off-rapists-penis-after-catching-him-attacking-his-wife-in-the-street I always liked Swiss Army knives. Their blades are really good. But what sucks is the husband could do more time than the rapist, potentially.
  9. This one could use a double-tag but I chose NSFE. Cop vs knife-wielding suspect. https://www.full30.com/watch/MDIxMjI3/graphic-why-officers-shoot-until-the-threat-has-stopped?fbclid=IwAR29hJKLKH04rn6iJxVM_DBSsk3rtZ1CvEHDYvqnph2w5tLbDyDuEGF0oIM From the looks of things, the first cop was focused on de-escalation. To the point it almost cost him. He shot the BG, didn't kill him, and probably overestimated how badly he injured him. Then BG gets up, gets behind first cop, and second cop makes a helluva shot. Especially considering he had to drop/holster his non-lethal to do it.
  10. Lets keep this to lyrics. Do not post anything with nudity. For the opening salvo, I give you this. Alestorm is a pirate themed metal band. They are not half bad. ****ed With an Anchor For number two, an oldy but a goody "So What" by Metallica (a cover of the Anti-Nowhere League song)
  11. Let's see them. I'll get the ball rolling.
  12. Watch until the end..... Sorry for the language....
  13. So, we're set up today in the middle of the forest in BFE. We have the demarcations set. I ordered some plastic white receivers with 12 inch red shafts that are capped and look a lot like a circumcised penis, especially with the assembled head. So, out there in the forest, (we have permission to be in) is a ten equidistant of these things to establish a firing line that cannot be missed. I can imagine someone hiking by and seeing 10 equidistant plastic penises growing out of the forest, and what the reaction would be. The targets and stands are stowed to begin instruction of shooters next week. But, I have to smile at the idea of someone wandering down a forest path seeing what looks like 12 inch dicks growing from the forest ground.
  14. Okay, so I have always pissed clean. I pissed TOO clean according to my Pain Management Doctor, he accused me of selling my pain medication on the street. I have never done that, nor considered it. So, he says, he won't be my doctor anymore and figure it out, and go out of town. Well, this guy can rot in sh'eol. There was no reason to do what he did. He talks like APU, so I did my best APU voice leaving. I am seriously considering pot now. Why? Because, I have never abused nor sold a street drug in my life. They frown on that when you are in law enforcement. Well, I am not, and I don't plan on going 60 miles to see someone else. I think I am going to figure out who the local pot dealer is, and eat my damn pain away. So, if I am going to be accused of wrong doing, I think I will do just that. This is how liberals **** with people who live with continual wasting pain. So, unless something drastic changes, I have to figure out where the weed is. I arrested enough dealers in NM, I would know where to look. Here, not so much.
  15. Is it wrong, that soon I would like to check in to the Holiday Inn for about two weeks of the month? Every father's nightmare, my daughter, is well, becoming a woman. She was supposed to be my sweet little girl forever. Yeah, I know, we want it to stay that way, but it never does. The thing is, as most experienced men know, when women cohabitate they tend to sync. I don't know if my nerves can handle it in stereo. Considering their personalities are quite compatible to begin with, I have felt the PMS wrath of my wife for just existing, and that is just not fun for anyone in the vicinity. Though, on the bright side, my son has the intuition of a retarded clam. He manages to bring wrath on himself on a good day, no matter how many times I have tried to school him. So, I guess if he doesn't get a clue soon, it may save me a hotel bill, sort of like the one who escapes the bear is the one who can run the fastest?
  16. For those of you that don't already know, Sears is dead. It was taken over by another holding company. Still the fake named people from Malaysia. So, "Michele," answers the phone. I said, "Hello,' Michelle' from Malaysia," She responds. I ask her about warranty issues my wife wants taken care of. I have a deep masculine voice. Partially due to age, partially due to disease, and probably due to the massive amounts of testosterone they pumped into me in the past as one pill they had me take was depleting it, before they figured out. Anywhoo, I have a deeper masculine voice. She gives me a number, and says you can call this number "Ma'am." I replied, I am male, and I have a penis and everything. My wife was laughing at my response from the other room.
  17. This is probably the 5th or 6th time. Each time I pick up on a nuance I missed during previous screenings. Riveting is all I can say. The story goes that the producers did not want John Cazale, who was dying of lung cancer in the movie. Robert De Niro threatened to quit if Cazale didn’t finish the movie. John Cazale finished it and died in March of 1978. I was fourteen when it came out. I didn’t fully understand its greatness until I was in my 30’s.
  18. ....So I wake up one morning with this strange boil on my leg. I don't think too much of it but it keeps getting bigger. Finally the Saturday before Christmas it gets to where I can't sleep because I can't have it touching anything. Being stubborn, I don't do anything until Monday (Christmas Eve). I tried to call my family doctor but they were closed. This is my third round with this so I want to go to my family doctor. So I wait. Tuesday - I try to pop it with a "sterilized" safety pin. That......didn't work. Some bad stuff came out but not nearly enough, and it was too inflamed for me to stand doing much more. Finally on Wednesday I call the doc at 8:15. Said they can see me at 8:45. I haul ass. Doc sees it and says we gotta open that up. Fun. Did I mention it was inflamed and even touching it made me want to hit the ceiling? While getting myself ready I notice that my entire lower leg is swollen. They try to numb it and open it up. YEEEOUUUUUCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy CRAP!!!!!!!!! Then they see bad stuff and have to squeeze it out. That made the first pain seem like a massage. Finally, there's "this last little bit" they need to get out. He squeezes. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!! Speaking of God, I think I saw him. He said something about I shouldn't have waited so long to see the doctor. Afterwards - my ears were actually ringing and I was feeling light-headed from the pain. This doc has a serious set of meathooks and he put the clamps on this thing to drain it. This is about what I sounded like while he was working on me: I wound up staying in the room for about 20 minutes gathering myself. But felt immediately better. They then stuffed some sort of sterile cotton stuff in it to hold it open so it can drain and all the infection can get out, and so it will heal from the inside out. I have to go every few days so they can change out the stuff in there. Two days after all of this the wound was about an inch deep and about a half inch diameter or so. 5 days of antibiotics and I have to rub some kind of stuff in my nose 3x a day to kill what we think is the root cause of this. Had I waited much longer, I possibly could have been able to go halfsies with Alchemy on a pair of shoes. This thing was pretty serious, as it turns out. Next time - I ain't waiting so damn long.
  19. Okay - I was trying for a TBO-esque clever title and it didn't work out. But anyway - a Chinese factory worker got impaled by ten spikes from a robotic arm: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6483365/Chinese-worker-cheats-death-skewered-TEN-massive-steel-spikes-factory-accident.html Not for the squeamish: Good news is he lived. But I REALLY wanna know what the hell machine uses spikes like that.
  20. In Hollywood they have to make an announcement that they plan to lose 25 pounds. WTF? Well, I guess that's what I've been doing wrong! I hereby announce my intent to lose 100 pounds.
  21. Remember when Jim Carrey put on a wig and tight spandex and made fun of manly women? How far has this country fallen in depravity when the formerly absurd is now widely accepted by those on the left... https://www.foxnews.com/sports/not-fair-world-cycling-bronze-medalist-cries-foul-after-transgender-woman-wins-gold ‘Not fair’: World cycling bronze medalist cries foul after transgender woman wins gold The American bronze medalist who lost a world-championship cycling race to a transgender woman from Canada has criticized the results as unfair. "First transgender woman world champion...ever," Rachel McKinnon, an assistant professor of philosophy at the College of Charleston in South Carolina, bragged Sunday in a tweet that set off a massive debate. McKinnon gave a talk at the College of Charleston earlier this year asking: “Is it fair for transwomen athletes to compete in women’s categories?” While McKinnon argues it is, given the rules and regulations adopted by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS), the bronze medalist felt another way at the finish of the world championships. “It’s definitely NOT fair,” Jennifer Wagner, the third-place finisher from Houston, said in response to a tweet from British conservative Katie Hopkins. Twitter Ads info and privacy Hopkins tweeted an image of the three cyclists on the podium with this caption: “For clarity – this was the WOMENS world championships. I repeat. Women’s. Congratulations to the brave faces of silver & bronze. The world is gripped by a febrile madness.” Carolien van Herrikhuyzen, the silver medalist representing the Netherlands and a friend of McKinnon, disagreed. “No one is a transgender to steal anyone’s medal,” van Herrikhuyzen wrote. “We had an honest race under UCI rules. If you compete you accept the rules, otherwise, don’t compete. I can only imagine what she had to go through in her life to be where she is now, how hard it is to fit in.” Wagner snapped back: “Just because it’s a CURRENT UCI rule doesn’t mean it[‘s] fair or right. And rules can be changed.” Four days later, after a firestorm of controversy, Wagner apologized to McKinnon, adding that she will work to get the rules changed offline to avoid more controversy.
  22. Language Warning; F word, S word, MF word, N word. Almost every word, Nice work by the officer; even though he has a potty mouth too. https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-thrown-30-feet-face-first-off-daytona-beach-bridge
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