Jump to content

Question for the business guys: Can an employer control who you're friends with?


jame
 Share

Recommended Posts

23 hours ago, jame said:

I'll make this as brief as possible in hopes that it will simplify my question.

 

In a nutshell, over the last 2 1/2 years, I was hired and recently promoted to the top spot.  A woman that's been a friend of mine over the last ten years got me the job in the first place.

Fast forward to today, and we're under new management, and they and my friend do NOT get along, so she was released.  Sadly, I had to help her pack her stuff and usher her to her car in the parking lot last Wednesday.

Now today, through a series of text messages from my superior, I have a feeling that they will ask me to dissolve this friendship, and stop all communications with her, regardless of our previous 10 year relationship.

I'm a guy that will step in line and get to work, but this seems to bend me a little sideways.  (As a side note, this industry is predominantly women.  The cattiness is unreal)

I'm 59, towards the tail end of my career.  My friend, obviously, is a pretty good resource.  She got me this job, after all.

I'd love to hear your takes, opinions, and suggestions.

If you want to remain friends with this person on your own time and don't communicate with her while you're at work, how are they going to know that you're continuing the friendship unless you tell them? Your private business is your private business and none of their concern. If they ask you to dissolve this friendship, and stop all communications with her you can agree to do that but as far as you're concerned, that's only while you're on the job and you aren't obligated to tell them that.

Edited by Borg warner
Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, Jammersix said:

The corporation that runs my doctor's office (Swedish) has very set, clear rules about what their employees can and can't do or say with patients. I know it applies outside the office.

...and this applies to the OP's concerns about being told he cannot associate wit a former employee, How?

How does, patient confidentiality and patients rights apply here?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, ASH said:

your time is your time, theirs is theirs  , BUT  saying that walk a thin line because they can make up anything they want to dump you as well.  

If you stay friends on a personal basis, it's not their concern.  However if she was fired for cause, you may put your reputation at risk as well.

I live in Georgia.  It's a "right to work" state.  I used to joke with my ex-boss that they would probably fire me if I passed gas in an elevator if the wrong person was on-board at the time.  He didn't laugh.  He'd just blink.  It made me think that may be true.  

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just to clarify, I have no contact with my friend during working hours, and no communication is taking place on company owned devices.

As well, we stay cordial on social media, but not a word is typed or any post referred to contains anything about the company.

Did I say that I'm the only guy working with only women?  Does this surprise anyone?  It's funny, when you get them alone to discuss such matters, it doesn't surprise any of them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are already toast (I speak from experience).  The request is the first step towards your exit under less than friendly terms.  My advise is polish and distribute your resume and begin finding a new opportunity in earnest.  At age 59, it is very problematic but it will be better to get out on your own than to be standing with your hat and your ass and both have a hole in them.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, windowasher said:

Are/were either of you subject to non-competes or confidentiality agreements?  They can claim your continued relationship puts their "intellectual property" or "proprietary processes" in Jeopardy

Your brain is their 'intellectual property.' At least that's what the corporate bosses think.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I never cared if you were thankful. Washington is an at-will state. It means just what it says. It means I can let you go for cause or without any cause. That means I can let you go if you're friends with folks I don't like, if I think you're friends with folks I don't like or if I think it will help my headache.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/27/2018 at 4:49 PM, bohica793 said:

You are already toast (I speak from experience).  The request is the first step towards your exit under less than friendly terms.  My advise is polish and distribute your resume and begin finding a new opportunity in earnest.  At age 59, it is very problematic but it will be better to get out on your own than to be standing with your hat and your ass and both have a hole in them.

And that, my friend is the plan that's in place at the moment.

The fact that I already have such a question is a demonstration of the distrust I already have for them, and they, most likely, me.

And while you are correct that at 59, re-employment is problematic, they already shared with me that they're very sensitive to age discrimination lawsuits, choosing rather to settle than engage.  

I'm not the lawsuit type, but since they're already a little sketchy anyway,  I'll certainly take advantage of that fear as much as much as necessary as I search for another position elsewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Please Donate To TBS

    Please donate to TBS.
    Your support is needed and it is greatly appreciated.
×
×
  • Create New...