Random Posting

[Huaco Kid]

He had a three-ring binder full of photos,  of all the girls kissing him.

Even the Cowgirls came to see him.

[Huaco Kid]

So.  For the Houston Oilers.  We were just throwing a football all over the lot.  Big Blue. 

And so,  whoever was QB back then,  we were exactly like that.

[Huaco Kid]

So. Billy threw the ball.  And it went on the roof.  Billy has to get it.  Protocol. 

So he saw this (i think it was the toilet vent-pipe), going up the wall.  He was Billy, so he grabbed the pipe and just started walking up the wall, like the old BatMan, like Spiderman.

So he got to the top.

And then, I don't know,  whatever buckle had been holding that pipe for 70 years, cut off,  and Billy did a very cool arc, backwards,  death-grip on the pipe, pivot.  All the way down.

Slow-mo.

And landed right into DOMOP's windshield.  Pipe and all.  He got pretty fucked up.  Full of glass all over,  and a heavy pipe in his face.

DOMOP went off like a wet hen.

[Huaco Kid]

One kid I worked with, eventually got busted for robbing the gas station.

It was in the 100 year old oil can,  on the 100 year old shelf, where we kept the opening money.

It was a pretty short list of suspects.

His dad came in a week later, and we said, "Where's   ####?"  (It wasnt Billy)

The old man said,  "Dropped him off at the Army depot.  Ain't seen him since."

[Huaco Kid]

We used to,  there was a tank of kerosene, on that we sold,  fill buckets with kerosene.

And splash it out on the floor,  to scrub the bays with a pushbroom

We never blew up.

[Huaco Kid]

Probably got cancer.

[Huaco Kid]

There was an old black guy (forget his name) that lived a bit back in the woods.    He lived in a dilapidated Gone With The Wind mansion.

I don't know if he was heir,  or just the last man standing.

It was 20 rooms.

He'd sweep the parking lot and the country store porch.  For all the food he needed.  And kerosene.

And BBQ, and ****.

He did it right.

[Huaco Kid]

He'd show up at 7am,  too drunk,  and not sweep anything.

So the store would give him big food,  and we'd take him home.

I think he lived under a tarp, in a small corner of the GWTW mansion.

It was a mansion.  Some realtor made out.

[Huaco Kid]

So the robbing kid,  forget his name, before he worked there,  came to get gas.

But the wrecker was in front of the pumps,  filling up.

He decided it was too long,  and whipped, like a trucker,  to move the tow truck.  And did.

But the gas hose was still in it, and it ripped the hose off the pump, and blew gas all over.

DOMOP was madder then a wet hen.

[Huaco Kid]

We didn't have emergency shut-offs then.

So you had to wait while DOMOP was beating some kid with a radiator hose.

And then, someone had the wrench,  that you put down in the hole,  to shut it off.

[Huaco Kid]

I've read about myself in the papers,  a lot of  times.

[Huaco Kid]

Gilbo worked at the station and was a local high-school kid.  Football

His shoulder's were as big as a truck.

And his biceps were 2' around.

He had a mullet.

He probably made Billy get the ball.

And then he met some Wyoming-ranch girl, in Texas, we don't know.  So he never came back.

[Huaco Kid]

I moved from Pittsburgh suburbs,  graduating class of 800, to Magnolia.

Graduating class of 13.

I got beat by a black girl,  for no reason,  but yankee,  in the halls.

It wasn't beat,  just slapped all over most of you.

They played 6-man football.

The class was 13.

7 or 8 football dudes,  and 7 or 8 cheerleaders. 

I was in deep.  No one appreciates hockey there.

My hair was bigger than the whole school, put together.  Like a yankee.

If you're lucky, only the girl will get you,  in the hallway,  and not the other 7 or 8 football guys, later.

[Huaco Kid]

I got kicked out off classes three times, the first day.  I was pretty silent, the whole time.

They kicked me out of school, on my first day,  becacuse my hair touched my collar and touch my ears.

My hair was as big as Slash.

[Huaco Kid]

So, the requirements are different,  and PA only needed, like, one health.

Texas needed, like, six of them.

So,  I'm a senior, in high school,  sitting in a health class with 8th graders.  With a Slash-head.

It all turned into naked-funny feelings,  and girls,  and whatever Texas was teaching.  The girls liked it too.

I guess that was later in the day,  because they soon let me out.

[Huaco Kid]

One guidance counselor came to the gas station and told me I should come back to school.

So I got a Harley.

 

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[MO Fugga]

5 hours ago, Eric said:

I had to convince some crabs to vacate my fun zone once, when I was in the Army. Never did figure out where I picked them up.

Phenix City. Guaranteed.