When everyone in the neighborhood wants a PPO against you...

[Mrs.Cicero]

maybe THEY are not the problem and YOU are!

Sheesh.  OK, so this is NOT about the mentally ill drug addict across the street who ran naked thru the cornfield yelling about his paranoid fantasies.  He actually OD'd a few weeks ago, his mother now owns the house, she kicked out the GF, and now we have fairly normal-seeming people living there now.  Nope.  This couldn't be that easy.

Now we have Total Whack Job Crazy Ass Grifter who lives a few houses down and back on the river (All the crazies live on the river, doncha know?  This one has been sent to court ordered anger management classes previously) .  On 7 acres (because he sold the other 10).  But he has lived here for 52 years and been poaching everyone's property around here since God made deer.  Anyway, he made our former next door neighbors' lives hell for years (to the point they tried to get a PPO against him, with recordings of the threats he was leaving on their answering machine, etc.  No go.  Judge doesn't care about him threatening to kill people, or about this loon moving their property stakes in an attempt to claim he should be paid for some of the trees they had logged off their property, etc, etc).  ANYWAY

This IS the nut who showed up here on July 4 with his latest enabling girlfriend telling us he saw an asteroid land on our property on his game cam (why is it pointing toward our property?) and he saw some Mexicans (Uh, what?) come and steal it, and he wanted to go see about that (It made exactly as much sense to me as it just did to you reading that).  We told him GTFO and he was annoyed.  

So, he DID have permission to hunt the property that abuts our north field by the river... and it also abuts our newish (moved in this year) next door neighbor (A) on his east, because our property makes an L shape and we have all the river frontage.  Saturday, Neighbor A was on his own property when Nutcase runs up from the field he has permission to hunt (it's not hunting season yet, that's next week) screaming "This isn't your property, WTF are you doing here, swear, curse, temper tantrum, stupid foaming at the mouth shite..." which very smart neighbor A pulled out his phone and video'd.  FWIW, Neighbor A is a member of one of the tribes here - and one of Nutcase's lines was "You move here and think you own the land and can do whatever your want!  Go back the hell where you came from!"  Just ultra classic imbecile there.  After that, he came over to our place, and was being all slimy friendly like.  Neighbor A had already called and told us what happened, so Mr.C was like, "Leave.  Now.  Just get off our property and stay off...forever..." and things went downhill from there in terms of swearing, cursing, etc.  He did eventually leave.

It gets better.  Sunday or Monday, Cretinous Ingrate tells daughter of people-that-own-the-property-he-has-permission-to hunt-on, that Neighbor A was trespassing and yelling at him.  Daughter goes to Neighbor A all spitting mad, Neighbor A says, "Ah, I think you should see this," and shows her the video of Raving Madman.  She is appalled (and hopefully apologetic) and shows it to her parents (they don't live on this road anymore, but didn't sell their farmland, they rent it out), who call That Bastard on the phone and say, "Duuuuude, we never believed any of the bad stuff people have told us over the years about you, but that video is really bad.  You have one chance left with us, if you screw that up, you are gone off the property."  So, the daughter and her mother walk into the gas station up the road yesterday, and Certifiable Raving Maniac is there and he goes ballistic, on camera, in the gas station, in front of God and everybody.  He gets told he is banned from the hunting property except long enough to take down his tree stands...

And now all of us are thinking we should hunt wearing our body armor, 'cause everyone KNOWS he's batshit crazy.  I don't think my AR500 plates are enough anymore...

[MO Fugga]

That's a lot of people who might not see something heinous happen to him...

[minervadoe]

This just makes me appreciate my nice quiet neighbors.  That sounds REALLY tense.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. 

[Batesmotel]

I had rental houses in a very drug friendly part of town. I’ve seen it all. 

[Historian]

[Mrs.Cicero]

Well, if he strokes out in the middle of one of his tantrums, I'll throw a party and invite the rest of the neighborhood.  

[ChuteTheMall]

Can you get a quantity discount on barbed wire? How about rolls of concertina wire?  Razor wire? Punji sticks?

[jfost11]

1 hour ago, minervadoe said:

This just makes me appreciate my nice quiet neighbors.  That sounds REALLY tense.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. 

No kidding. The most I see or hear from my neighbors across the street is when he waves when I see him leaving for a round golf or her planting flowers in her garden.  I see the other neighbors less than I see their German Shepherd. I feel like I hit the neighbor lottery.

[21 shooter]

Send him a letter with a note that says “they are watching you”, or “is that drone yours?”, perhaps 
“why is that satellite right over your house “.  Lots of things to do that turn the tables on him.  Patience and a wicked sense of humor help a lot.  

[geeorge]

Set bear traps for him, not to kill just to mangle and disfigure

[MO Fugga]

1 hour ago, ChuteTheMall said:

Can you get a quantity discount on barbed wire? How about rolls of concertina wire?  Razor wire? Punji sticks?

Punji sticks.... now there's a man that does it in style!

[MO Fugga]

2 hours ago, Batesmotel said:

I had rental houses in a very drug friendly part of town. I’ve seen it all. 

Tell us a story. A good'n.

[Batesmotel]

Some context. We owned an apartment building, a couple condos, a couple strip malls, a few stand alone houses and one private street where we owned all the houses. Basically 11 houses and 1 duplex on 2streets at right angles to each other. That little community was 90% of my problems.

 

So I had a real scumbag couple breading pit bulls when they were the hot thing for drug dealers and gang leaders. I was finally able to kick them out but when I went into the crawl space under the house to fix some wiring I found where they were burring the dead puppies that didn’t sell. No idea why they didn’t use the garbage to dump them. The next tenant discovered he was also primping out his wife. 
 

Then I had a tenant who became the best meth customer of another tenant. He got so bad that the dealer cut him off. They got into a fight over it. Sort of a duel but with garden tools. Fun time sorting that out without cops involved. The dealer moved on after I started screwing with the furnace. He couldn’t handle the cold. Much easier than eviction. 
 

I had a drug ring that the cops couldn’t crack. They suspected meth but it turned out to be an elaborate heroine distribution ring. The cops were getting to suspect I was involved in the meth ring. The head was a former cop. They were smuggling it expertly packaged in automobile lightbulbs. Drove them right through police inspections. 
 

Had a low level drug house and prostitution operation out of one house. Even had a red light and OPEN sign in the window. Local PD just wasn’t interested in busting them. The rest of the tenants were sick of it. So I started taking photos of the cars as they came and went. Cops still didn’t care until I caught the wife of a ranking FD member in a city owned car. Cops went into overdrive shutting it down. But the City came after me for some  invasion of privacy bullshit for photographing customers in the middle of the night. 
 

Had a woman dismantle her husband’s van vie cheating on her. Totally took it apart and spread it all over the street. I mean she was taking parts off as the cops were trying to talk to her but dismantling a car you are on the title of is not a crime. Because the chassis was intact with the VIN no one would haul It away. Had to call in some favors with a scrap metal yard to fix that mess. 
 

Funny looking back on it but it could be hell at the time.