Jump to content

Priorities in life!


crockett
 Share

Recommended Posts

13 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said:

I tried skysurfing.

Once.

On a home-made job that a guy made out of a large skateboard.

I spent the whole jump upside-down and spinning uncontrollably,  in abject panic,  while trying to get the stupid thing detached from my feet. 

That'll happen.  How many jumps did you have?  Did you not have a cutaway/pilot chute on the board?  Hell, even way back in the early 90s, we did that.  I hated those damn things, but shot a lot of camera for them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

400-ish jumps.

This was when Patrick was blowing everyone's mind.

He had rigged a ripcord release,  with the handle strapped to your upper calf.

But,  the spin was so brutal that it twisted my legs together to the almost-breaking point.  The handle was all the way around on the other side. Couldn't see or reach it.

When I bent around and tried to get my left hand around to it,  the spin instantly (and violently) reversed.

This-way, that-way, this-way, that-way....

I ended up ripping every muscle in my body by managing to curl up into a tumbling cannon ball  and grabbing at the cable until I could rip it off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

37 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said:

400-ish jumps.

This was when Patrick was blowing everyone's mind.

He had rigged a ripcord release,  with the handle strapped to your upper calf.

But,  the spin was so brutal that it twisted my legs together to the almost-breaking point.  The handle was all the way around on the other side. Couldn't see or reach it.

When I bent around and tried to get my left hand around to it,  the spin instantly (and violently) reversed.

This-way, that-way, this-way, that-way....

I ended up ripping every muscle in my body by managing to curl up into a tumbling cannon ball  and grabbing at the cable until I could rip it off.

Ah, the assoverteakettleblendomatic, as I used to call it. ?  I liked to shoot those in a head down orbit from below.  That way, if the boarder corked, I'm ok.  If the board was chopped, I don't get killed by it, and I can just peel or hum it down if I need to.  Those were crazy days.

I had my board setup/suit rigged with the board chop on my right thigh.  It seemed cool for a short time.  I hated that the norm was to default to a lower performance, lower wingloaded canopy for board jumps.  It took a lot of fun out of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

After that spectacle....  some French team was practicing, incognito, at our tiny DZ, for a competition.  They actually aborted their routine on that jump and watched my acrobatics, from afar,  because it looked so bounce-ish.

Then they laughed at me and made me their mascot. They called me, "farting boy".

"Hey!  Farting boy!  Zat yu farting on the plane? You farting boy!"

But it was Ok.  Because I got to hang around them, while they ridiculed me, in French, for two weeks, and constantly supplied me with very good beer and hot French girls ("Iz ziss zee farting boy?!?")

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That picture was when I first put the makeup on.

Throughout the night,  at some, never-since-mentioned lecherous Halloween party,  it got dried out, and flaky, and coming off, and runny with sweat....   just like the movie.

It was wicked-cool as hell at the end of the night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Somewhere during that night,  a bunch of us stopped at our favorite local bar,  all full of people we knew.

To prove I was the real "joker",  I pulled out, and flicked,  the 9" switchblade.

There were a bunch of off-duty cops (that we knew, by face) at the end of the bar.

They called me a jerk.  And told me to not be a jerk any more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At one different bar,  way far away, at a totally different time,  I didn't even do anything.  My friend did.  He was just being his usual, hammy, self.  They didn't know him.  He was driving.

The local Chief, off duty, (that knew me by frequent-ness),  told us, "You got twenty minutes.  Start going home now."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Batesmotel said:

Never jumped from one. 

A cessna jump, me solo,  some noob behind me,  and two "observers".  (His Mom, Dad, friend?  don't remember. they were wearing parachutes.)

The pilot was giving them his spiel:  "If the engine should die,  it's OK,  I'm landing the plane.  If the engine should catch on fire and the cabin fills with smoke, it's Ok,  I'm landing the plane.  If the open door slams violently and blows away,  it's ok,  I'm landing the plane.  If both wings should break off,  and you notice me missing, please remember that I first yelled, "GET THE **** OUT OF THE PLANE!!"

I think Mom and Dad walked away,  and his friends / girlfriend took their place.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My friend was doing an observation in a cessna.  He was sitting between the pilot and the door,  with his back against the firewall.

I was kneeling in front of him, and opened the door for the spotting.

He was wearing chute,  but also had a strap locked onto a lug.

I opened the door,  and he swooned,  way over,  and grabbed the strap.

And held the unbuckled end up in his hand.  His eyes were as big as pancakes.

The pilot yelled,  "It's OK!  I unbuckled it so you could look out!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Paul Fayard (I don't know.  he's probably in google) had a Casa.

He would, with no warning at all, close the tailgate just enough to stop it dragging, and take off,  straight up, so everyone was hanging, all sideways, by fists and elbows,  flopping around.   "Hey!!! RULE #1 IS TO WEAR THE SEATBELTS!!  YOU KNOW THAT!!"  WEAR THE GODDAMN SEATBELTS!!!"

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think he was flying,  but someone stalled the Casa on jump run.  I saw the videos.

A bunch of people were on the tailgate,  all the others doing whatever.

Then the guys on the tailgate just started floating.  They all let go and floated away.

Everyone else,  all banging around and going upside down,  managed to crawl, run, kick, out.

The outside video showed people just spilling out, all willy-nilly.

The plane did a full 360 barrel roll,  and they restarted and flew off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Please Donate To TBS

    Please donate to TBS.
    Your support is needed and it is greatly appreciated.
×
×
  • Create New...