TSA agents catch odd assortment of weaponry at airport checkpoints

[TBO]

TSA agents catch odd assortment of weaponry at airport checkpoints

 

https://www.foxnews.com/us/tsa-screens-see-some-of-the-strangest-things

 

Sent from my Jack boot using Copatalk

 

 

[Huaco Kid]

F the TSA.

Then disband them.

[kerbie18]

I once got recruited to purposely attempt to sneak stuff through the local airport. It was a controlled test, where I was essentially pretending to be a bad guy, but the low ranking TSA people didn't know that. Weaknesses were duly noted and dealt with, I won't go into further detail.

Overall, I actually think TSA does a decent job, but not perfect.

[minervadoe]

Quote

A traveler at Baltimore–Washington International Airport was stopped from boarding a plane with high heels and matching ammo wrist bands.

I'm no fashionista, but at least in that respect, a crime was committed. 

[Borg warner]

My local PD where I get my carry permit renewed used to have a display case of prohibited weapons that they had confiscated, Nunchucks, brass knuckles, Saps, switchblades, and yes, throwing stars which are usually too small to do any serious damage. I made a 4 blade one once out of an 8 inch skill saw blade that worked pretty good and stuck pretty deep  into plywood but it wasn't something I wanted to carry around. It wasn't all that accurate either. Throwing weapons require a great deal of skill and it isn't a weapon anymore after you throw it away.

[Borg warner]

18 minutes ago, kerbie18 said:

I once got recruited to purposely attempt to sneak stuff through the local airport. It was a controlled test, where I was essentially pretending to be a bad guy, but the low ranking TSA people didn't know that. Weaknesses were duly noted and dealt with, I won't go into further detail.

Overall, I actually think TSA does a decent job, but not perfect.

Close enough for government work.

[Historian]

I was once asked by TSA if i had any weapons.  I said no.

Yours will do fine.

That...was a mistake on my part.

[Historian]

So if traveling with my wife...if i call her the old ball and chain.

Will TSA confiscate her?

[Huaco Kid]

15 minutes ago, Historian said:

I was once asked by TSA if i had any weapons.  I said no.

Yours will do fine.

That...was a mistake on my part.

I wish you hadn't posted that.

I am soooooooo going to regret the day that those words instantly slip out of my mouth.....

[Historian]

31 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said:

I wish you hadn't posted that.

I am soooooooo going to regret the day that those words instantly slip out of my mouth.....

Hopefully you'll have a better experience than me.  I still think the TSA agent in Atlanta should have at least taken me to dinner before he declared my God given junk a national security issue and felt me over.

 

[Huaco Kid]

 

7 minutes ago, Historian said:

Hopefully you'll have a better experience than me.  I still think the TSA agent in Atlanta should have at least taken me to dinner before he declared my God given junk a national security issue and felt me over.

 

(can't keep this short:)

I flew into Miami as a connection.  (I flew through the checkpoint at the first airport) I went outside to smoke. 

On the way back in....

I had a carry-on sized Pelican case.  The scanner flagged it.  The guy took it over to search it.  He swabbed it.

After a few seconds,  he told me to stand "over there".  So I did.  Then he said louder, "Over There!"

Now I'm in smartass mode.  I took one huge,  exaggerated step "over there". 

Then more TSA people came around.

Then some guys in suits.

Then the cops.

Then the cops with dogs.

Then the cops with rifles.

Then the bomb squad.

It seems that my case had suddenly become "explosive".

I had a small plastic jar of brown sugar in there.  You know,  for coffee, and stuff.  It was of great interest.  They asked what it was,  and I told them.  The tech-guy had a tri-open case with vials and test tubes and litmus papers and scales and even UV laser-thingys.  He used all of it.

Then I needed to be searched.  Sure.  Hit me.

But they said I had to go "back there".  Uh, no.  Right here,  in front of everybody.  They said it would be a thorough search.  I said OK.  Right here, in front of every body.   They didn't like that.  I refused to go.  I'm getting loud now.  They didn't like that.

Then the cops said I had to go.  OK.  But I need some witnesses.  They said, "Fine."  And picked two more TSA guys to escort us....

No, no , no.  I don't want TSA witnesses while I'm about to get jacked by the TSA.  I'm getting louder and more animated now. 

Two cops finally volunteered to go with us.  That's fine by me.

They stripped me to my underwear.  And even felt around still.

Then they let me go.

I missed my plane.  Too late at night for another flight.  I left and went to a hotel.  I loudly asked the TSA bigwigs about reimbursement,  as I loudly suggested that their equipment was defective.  They were pretty much just totally ignoring me by now.  Nothing to see here.  Move along.

I got a new flight and the next morning I went through the same checkpoint.  Same case, with same contents.  Same clothes and shoes and hands.....

I got through the checkpoint in about 15 seconds.

 

[Huaco Kid]

My case must have self-decontaminated.

[Huaco Kid]

The coworker I was traveling with said,  "I would only believe that story coming from you."

[Historian]

7 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said:

 

 

I got a new flight and the next morning I went through the same checkpoint.  Same case, with same contents.  Same clothes and shoes and hands.....

I got through the checkpoint in about 15 seconds.

 

For the love of humanity....

I was flying back from Texas.   Got randomly selected for an test to determine if i had handled a firearm, explosives, fertilizers, etc.

It was a company trip.  I had checked my firearms and other equipment just fine in my luggage.   Just declared it like most dudes.  I gots a heater in my luggage.

Texas TSA asked if i would mind be swabbed to test a new dude.   I knew i was a hit.  No problem let's train the new dude i told the other experienced dude.

End result.  They got a hit.  I explained the sitiation.  New dude learned some stuff...and we all had a nice conversation....we had coffee! (might add...they had some good coffee!)

It should be that easy. 

Your guys could not tell the difference between brown sugar and S#@! ...

That my man is what is wrong with the system.

[Huaco Kid]

For a while (I don't know if they still do,  I haven't been blessed with it in years),  the had the SPOT Program (Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques).

I don't know what the criteria is,  but I must be the perfect classroom example.

I knew what it was,  I had read about it.  They just come by and unintentionally have a friendly chit-chat.

I'm not that friendly.  They pretty much didn't like my replies.  The harder they pushed,  the better my answers got.d

Half of the time,  you'd see a group of people at the checkpoint,  heads all huddled together,  and I'd get the "red-carpet" search.

"Hey!  Where ya headed!"

"My destination."

"Where's that?!"

"Where I'm going."

"What'cha gonna do there?!?!"

"Be not here."

I pretty much asked for it.

[Huaco Kid]

I was once sitting in the concourse,  surfing the web.

Two TSA walked up and said they needed to "test" my drink.

It was a mcdonalds' iced tea.  The mcdonalds was twenty yards away.

I told them, "No thanks!"

Then they said they had to.

I told them, "No thanks!"

Then they said that because I was asked,  they would have to call the police if I refused.

I handed them my drink.

They dunked some litmus paper, or something, in it, put the lid back on and handed it back.

I told them, "No thanks!"

"Wha...?"

Then they said I had to take it. 

I ignored them.  They set it at my feet,  just as I was packing up my laptop and walking away.

They yelled at me and said that I couldn't leave it there.

I told them that they had touched it last and they had left it there.  I walked away without looking back.  That's the last I heard of it.

[Historian]

I have worked for feds, state and local...and this crap just makes us all look...sad...just plain stupid.

And most of it is because of management.

[janice6]

I traveled for a research project contracted for by the Navy.

The Superconductivity portions were new to the Navy and they needed to try things quickly to see the results quickly.  So rather than the Niobium Titanium alloy (being expensive to machine) I had them replicate "things" out of Pure Lead Foil. It goes Superconducting also but degrades quickly.

They called me before my flight to their base, and said they didn't have any 1 mil thick Lead sheet.  So I told them I would bring some from my lab.  I cut a large number of paper sized sheets from a large roll we had, and to keep them from being wrinkled, I put them between pages of a very large set of paper reports and reference Books.

I went through the screening but didn't have to be searched.  I was puzzled as to why they didn't notice what I was carrying, so at my destination, after I went to the gate I asked them why they didn't stop me for the Lead sheets in their X-ray scanners.  One guy told me that I had enough paper stacked together that the X-Ray couldn't see through it.  I found that fascinating.

Another time I was early to my flight and went through a small screening at a local airport.  My work was with Magnetics, so I was curious when the alarm went off and I was told to take all my change out of my pocket.  That included my fingernail clippers that I already knew were magnetized.

Later I left the secure area to get a Coffee.  The screener was the same person as when I went through the first time.  He saw me coming back, and knowing what I had in my pocket, he told me to take out all my change.  For a test I pulled out a handful of change and my fingernail clippers.  Then I put the fingernail clippers on the tray and put the change back into my pocket.  Before he could stop me I stepped through the sensor.  I registered "clean".  He was pretty perturbed that the coins didn't set off the alarm, but the fingernail clippers did.

Life is full of interesting things.

[janice6]

20 minutes ago, Historian said:

I have worked for feds, state and local...and this crap just makes us all look...sad...just plain stupid.

And most of it is because of management.

I don't mind at all being screened.  However, I would like it to be by persons I respected and that would respect me.  I would prefer Police to do all the security work.  I trust them much more than TSA.

[Huaco Kid]

I flew out of Vegas (Baby!) this week.

After years of getting screamed at to take "ALL ELECTRONICS OUT",  this guy was yelling, "LEAVE ALL ELECTRONICS IN!!!"

While waiting for my stuff to come out of the conveyor,  I noticed the sign that said "tomography-something".  I googled,  it's new.

But......

The reader-guy was struggling with it.  They pulled every bag that came out of it for five minutes,  and re-screened it all, ten times.  Five minutes.  Five minutes. Five minutes. Finally,  the guy hit the red E-Stop button and rebooted the whole thing.  Five minutes.

It took over an hour before I could take my stuff.

Then one guy said, "New technology!  We're just getting used to it!"

Shouldn't they get used to it before they 'go live'?

[Huaco Kid]

I actually hope it works,  because you can leave your laptop in your bag.

[Huaco Kid]

If you have a small pair of scissors,  that's fine.

If you take the tiny screw out of the middle........

THEY BECOME TWO DEADLY KNIVES!!!!

And you shall incur wrath.

[janice6]

1 hour ago, Huaco Kid said:

I flew out of Vegas (Baby!) this week.

After years of getting screamed at to take "ALL ELECTRONICS OUT",  this guy was yelling, "LEAVE ALL ELECTRONICS IN!!!"

While waiting for my stuff to come out of the conveyor,  I noticed the sign that said "tomography-something".  I googled,  it's new.

But......

The reader-guy was struggling with it.  They pulled every bag that came out of it for five minutes,  and re-screened it all, ten times.  Five minutes.  Five minutes. Five minutes. Finally,  the guy hit the red E-Stop button and rebooted the whole thing.  Five minutes.

It took over an hour before I could take my stuff.

Then one guy said, "New technology!  We're just getting used to it!"

Shouldn't they get used to it before they 'go live'?

It's useless to give a person a calculator when they don't know arithmetic.

[Huaco Kid]

The guy in front of me nonchalantly grabbed his stuff and moved on.

I was first in line to wait an hour.

[Huaco Kid]

I burned eyeball-lasers into everyone for an hour.

But they are trained to not even see you.

That's an extra-credit question on the finals.

"If someone is giving you the death-stare for an hour,  what should you do?"

A) Ignore them.

B) Ignore them.

C) All of the above.