Administrators Eric Posted August 22, 2019 Administrators Share Posted August 22, 2019 I've occasionally eaten Lunchables snacks back as far as the nineties. I like the turkey and Swiss ones. Today, for the first time in twenty years, they shorted me a cracker. That last piece of cheese and turkey was just not the same without a cracker under it. I missed the salt the most. Now I am emotionally compromised. There may be lasting damage. I am considering suing them. Or maybe a nice boycott. I know! I'll suecott the bastards! They are going to pay dearly for that cracker! They messed with the wrong man. I know very tall people. So, who's with me? Let's spread the lunch meat mayhem! It's a slow day. Sue me. 2 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 (edited) Viva la revolution! I got screwed on Friday last week when i removed the plastic packaging on a can of smoked herring. The can was broken and the contents were fermenting in my hand and released a foul order that was on a Biblical magnitude. And when i say magnitude....a couple of us have been on scene when a hooker was found at low tide. We know stank smells. This....was beyond description. Quickly i wrapped the can in a plastic grocery bag and ran down the hold as if it was a found live munition ready to blow up. It was tossed from some distance into a nearby garbage can that became a very special can shortly there after. Six offices were evacuated and a new policy was mandated by management regarding canned fish. Not in the building. The policy was named after me and is the second time that's happened. So let's unite as lunch eaters! Your flawed packaging is shall not prevail! Edited August 22, 2019 by Historian 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xromad Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 17 minutes ago, Eric said: I've occasionally eaten Lunchables snacks back as far as the nineties. I like the turkey and Swiss ones. Today, for the first time in twenty years, they shorted me a cracker. That last piece of cheese and turkey was just not the same without a cracker under it. I missed the salt the most. Now I am emotionally compromised. There may be lasting damage. I am considering suing them. Or maybe a nice boycott. I know! I'll suecott the bastards! They are going to pay dearly for that cracker! They messed with the wrong man. I know very tall people. So, who's with me? Let's spread the lunch meat mayhem! It's a slow day. Sue me. Lighten up, Francis. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Eric Posted August 22, 2019 Author Administrators Share Posted August 22, 2019 9 minutes ago, Historian said: Viva la revolution! I got screwed on Friday last week when i removed the plastic packaging on a can of smoked herring. The can was broken and the contents were fermenting in my hand and released a foul order that was on a Biblical magnitude. And when i say magnitude....a couple of have been on scene when a hooker was found at low tide. We know stank smells. This....was beyond description. Quickly i wrapped the can in a plastic grocery bag and ran down the hold as if it was a found live munition ready to blow up. It was tossed from some distance into a nearby garbage can that became a very special can shortly there after. Six offices were evacuated and a new policy was mandated by management regarding canned fish. Not in the building. The policy was named after me and is the second time that's happened. So let's unite as lunch eaters! Your flawed packaging is shall not prevail! I thought that stuff was supposed to stink? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maser Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Lunchables were amazing stoner food to eat when you would ditch school! The ham and cheese ones with the crackers and Capri Suns. I miss those times! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dric902 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 1 hour ago, Eric said: I've occasionally eaten Lunchables snacks back as far as the nineties. I like the turkey and Swiss ones. Today, for the first time in twenty years, they shorted me a cracker. That last piece of cheese and turkey was just not the same without a cracker under it. I missed the salt the most. Now I am emotionally compromised. There may be lasting damage. I am considering suing them. Or maybe a nice boycott. I know! I'll suecott the bastards! They are going to pay dearly for that cracker! They messed with the wrong man. I know very tall people. So, who's with me? Let's spread the lunch meat mayhem! It's a slow day. Sue me. Are you ok? fondling a Smith &Wesson usually helps . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Eric Posted August 22, 2019 Author Administrators Share Posted August 22, 2019 3 minutes ago, Dric902 said: Are you ok? fondling a Smith &Wesson usually helps . I was just sitting here, thinking about that cracker. The thought of someone else eating it is destroying me. I need one of those emotional support animals. I will cook it and eat it. On crackers. Anyone have any crackers? Salty ones? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dric902 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Just now, Eric said: I was just sitting here, thinking about that cracker. The thought of someone else eating it is destroying me. I need one of those emotional support animals. I will cook it and eat it. On crackers. Anyone have any crackers? Salty ones? I grew up on Saltines and a Peanut Butter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willie-pete Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Don't ever buy Lunchables made on a Monday morning or a Friday afternoon. Or anything for that matter. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaBud Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 20 minutes ago, Eric said: I was just sitting here, thinking about that cracker. The thought of someone else eating it is destroying me. I need one of those emotional support animals. I will cook it and eat it. On crackers. Anyone have any crackers? Salty ones? Get some Sailor Boy Pilot Crackers off Amazon. Never tried them, but am curious. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deputy tom Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 I've got salty crackers. tom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 2 hours ago, Eric said: I thought that stuff was supposed to stink? Yeah but not like necrotic arse! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 4 hours ago, Eric said: I've occasionally eaten Lunchables snacks back as far as the nineties. I like the turkey and Swiss ones. Today, for the first time in twenty years, they shorted me a cracker. That last piece of cheese and turkey was just not the same without a cracker under it. I missed the salt the most. Now I am emotionally compromised. There may be lasting damage. I am considering suing them. Or maybe a nice boycott. I know! I'll suecott the bastards! They are going to pay dearly for that cracker! They messed with the wrong man. I know very tall people. So, who's with me? Let's spread the lunch meat mayhem! It's a slow day. Sue me. There 'ought to be a law! If you can make "denigrate" a naughty word, you can have a law requiring crackers! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Eric Posted August 22, 2019 Author Administrators Share Posted August 22, 2019 14 minutes ago, janice6 said: There 'ought to be a law! If you can make "denigrate" a naughty word, you can have a law requiring crackers! Isn't it funny that you used denigrate and crackers in the same sentence and no racism was intended? 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 The cracker probably fell out when the girl was making a video of herself carefully opening the package, licking everything, and putting it back on the shelf. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Eric Posted August 22, 2019 Author Administrators Share Posted August 22, 2019 1 minute ago, Huaco Kid said: The cracker probably fell out when the girl was making a video of herself carefully opening the package, licking everything, and putting it back on the shelf. No one likes you. We had a meeting yesterday. There were beverages and a small cake. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul53 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 It's times like these that try men's souls, Eric. I admire your courage to talk about. This I can promise you whomever got your missing cracker wont enjoy it much without the extra cheese! 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 13 minutes ago, Eric said: Isn't it funny that you used denigrate and crackers in the same sentence and no racism was intended? I guess you could say that...………………… I guess. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 14 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said: The cracker probably fell out when the girl was making a video of herself carefully opening the package, licking everything, and putting it back on the shelf. So what! You might not believe what I have eaten. One of my neighbors exclaimed that she wouldn't let a dog lick her, cause she knew where his tongue has been. She turned red when I said, "You're married, aren't you?". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bish1309 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Tough crowd today. I like it! ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 31 minutes ago, Eric said: Isn't it funny that you used denigrate and crackers in the same sentence and no racism was intended? Oh, dang. Wow. Nicely, done, sir. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 35 minutes ago, Eric said: No one likes you. We had a meeting yesterday. There were beverages and a small cake. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 The actor mentioned above...actually has a stage named after him at the acting school at the university of florida...He donated a lot of money the school he graduated from. He actually has a rather long career. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 You're aware that you can call the Lunchables Hotline and they'll send you a replacement cracker, right? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Of course, it will mean they'll open a permanent file on you... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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