Jump to content

Random Cuteness


Maser
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 2.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

22 minutes ago, railfancwb said:

That has generally been the consensus among my farming uncles and cousins. And according to some the most dangerous. 

OK. Here's the story, again (I just watched Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf, so now I'm disturbed and have to get it out):

Mom and Dad went to a firehall dance (Texas).  The third-place doorprize was weekend in Austin.  Second place was a golf-cart.  Mom won first place....

a pig.

It was as big as a football.  A little obnoxious squeally thing.

She fed it with a bottle and made it a nest in the kitchen.  Right next to the dogs.

It's name was "Pig".

So then it got, like, 600 lbs.  As big as  volkswagen.

It was never violent or mean.  It was kind of cuddly.  In a 600 lb kind of way.

So now you open the kitchen door.  And the pig is right there.  And it wants to come in.  It's coming in.  Don't try to stop it,  or get in the way,  because you will get hurt.

So now the pig's in the kitchen.

Not my problem.

"Mom!  The pig's in the living room."   I'm going to work.

If the pig takes your beer,  just let him have it.  Don't put your hand down there.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being a real farmer,  Mom wasn't opposed to whacking her own pets.

I don't know about the different kinds of pigs,  but this one turned out to be a 'lard' pig.

They traded it to a restaurant (Renks!) for two dinners per week for a year.

The owners were tickled pink and Mom and Dad loved it.

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So now,  you're sitting at the pond trying to fish.

With twenty turkeys crowding you,  because they automatically know you have a tub of worms.  With the biggest toms randomly pecking you in the temple and in the back of the neck,  when you're not looking.

And the pig.  He's harder to ignore than twenty turkeys.  He knows you have worms, too.

Just let the damn pig have the worms and give up on fishing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My friends had pigs.

So we'd go right into the middle of the corral.  Silence Of The Lambs hadn't been invented yet, so we didn't know.

And we'd foot-shove them into the electric fence, just to hear them squeal.  We didn't have internet yet.  It was the best we could do.

(At the diner, the other night,  my family was surprised to learn that I had "tipped" cows.

It's not that hard.  Their legs don't go that way.

I don't think I earned any brownie-points with everyone.) 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Please Donate To TBS

    Please donate to TBS.
    Your support is needed and it is greatly appreciated.
×
×
  • Create New...